Conscious Kids Parent Support
I wanted to be a better parent. I knew from a very young age that there must be a another way. And I was lucky, for soon after my first child, I discovered New Ways of Disciple by Dorothy Baurch. Then along came Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginot. I learned that feelings were natural and needed to be expressed, not shamed and denied. I learned that when children feel heard and accepted, they will behave in acceptable ways. I wanted my children to not suffer the humiliation and shame that my brothers and I experienced. I wanted them to know that I saw them, heard them, honored them and that I would protect them.
Now years later, I have read many wonderful books on child development, parenting and communication. When my youngest child started school, I attended the local community college. Ten years later I had earned a B.S. in Child Development. I went on to receive a Masters in Marriage, Family and Child Therapy. I am a Certified Child Life Specialist and ordained as a Pastoral Family Life Minister. I have raised four children and enjoy the rewards of many grandchildren. Still my heart remembers the years of struggling to find the ways that were different than my own childhood experience.
I developed a curriculum that I have taught through Santa Ana Community College and Western Medical Center. I now offer parenting support through Common Ground Spiritual Center. If you are in the mist of raising a child, and would like a place to gain insight and support, please join me at 7 PM on the first Thursday night of each month at Common Ground Spiritual Center in Tustin. It will be an informal evening driven by your needs and dedicated to our children.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
EFT AND ME By Lillian Nader
EFT AND ME
By Lillian Nader
My first introduction to EFT came in a round about way through my intuition. One day when I was driving to a meeting, I had a strong premonition that I would be invited to something. That was it; I would be invited to something. No details were given. As a firm believer in the intuitive process, I took note of the message and forgot about it until after the meeting. As I was saying my goodbyes and preparing to leave, my friend and colleague, Donna Kannard, asked me to tea, I thought. Remembering my earlier intuitive message, I immediately said, “yes, would you like me to bring anything?” “No thanks,” Donna replied. “We’re not having refreshments.” Oh, dear, what was going on? “I thought you invited me to tea.” “No, EFT”, she said. I had never heard of it, so she explained and began to demonstrate by tapping on her head and face, etc. That was several years ago, and I am still attending Donna’s EFT group on alternate Fridays each month. From there, I began to implement EFT into my hypnotherapy practice with amazing results.
I learned EFT by doing it with Donna in her group, and by studying Gary Craig’s manual from his website. Soon, I began receiving newsletters from Patricia Carrington and then Til Schilling’s Tappy Bear.com. At a time when I was at a crossroads in my hypnotherapy career, I received another invitation. This one was from my spiritual center, Common Ground, asking me to offer EFT for kids as part of their Children’s Enrichment program. Nest, I linked up with Judith Freyer to form our program called Conscious Kids. Together, Judith and I took Tappy Bear to Common Ground and introduced the children and their parents to tapping with pleasantly surprising results. Here’s what one parent has to say about it:
“We have used the tapping technique on our three young kids (9,7 and 5) when they are upset, angry, crying, or sad and it works like a miracle. Immediately they calm down and start enjoying the tapping with a relaxed smile on their face. It’s like pressing some magic reset button. Thank you so much for teaching parents this powerful technique. It is a powerful and easy way to instantaneously relax and regain our composure. It helps prevent parents from fighting emotion with emotion, and removes the complexity from the charged event.”
EFT stands for emotional freedom techniques, which is a powerful and fun way to release negative energy and replace it with more peaceful responses to the stresses of daily living. EFT is based on a theory by Dr. Roger Callahan, which states that the cause of all negative emotion is a disruption in the body’s energy system. Also called Meridian Tapping, it works to relieve both physical and emotional pain. It’s a modified version of acupuncture without needles. Instead, you stimulate energy points, or the endpoints to some of the meridians, by gently tapping on them with your fingertips. It’s easy to learn and only takes minutes to feel positive results. I have found that one-to-one tapping with clients for specific issues prior to hypnotherapy greatly enhances the total effect of the session. Moreover, tapping in a group setting as in Donna’s Friday EFT group has been extremely beneficial to me personally, not only as a learning tool but as a way to release emotional blocks to my own success and prosperity. The effects of EFT seem subtle, but they are amazing nonetheless. I suggest giving it a try. “Try it on everything,” says Gary Craig. Indeed, there is a DVD by that name which I use as a teaching tool with my own Meridian Tapping (EFT) group meetings at Common Ground Spiritual Center in Tustin, CA the first Friday night of each month.
In my work with children, I utilize Tappy Bear, a stuffed toy with the tapping points sewn into him for an easy way to teach children the benefits of tapping. They tap on Tappy first, and then on themselves.
You can download Gary Craig’s EFT manual for free at www.emofree.com. Learn to use it for yourself, and then, start tapping with the entire family. Kids respond to it very well when they see it modeled and used effectively by their parents and other family members.
Happy Tapping!
By Lillian Nader
My first introduction to EFT came in a round about way through my intuition. One day when I was driving to a meeting, I had a strong premonition that I would be invited to something. That was it; I would be invited to something. No details were given. As a firm believer in the intuitive process, I took note of the message and forgot about it until after the meeting. As I was saying my goodbyes and preparing to leave, my friend and colleague, Donna Kannard, asked me to tea, I thought. Remembering my earlier intuitive message, I immediately said, “yes, would you like me to bring anything?” “No thanks,” Donna replied. “We’re not having refreshments.” Oh, dear, what was going on? “I thought you invited me to tea.” “No, EFT”, she said. I had never heard of it, so she explained and began to demonstrate by tapping on her head and face, etc. That was several years ago, and I am still attending Donna’s EFT group on alternate Fridays each month. From there, I began to implement EFT into my hypnotherapy practice with amazing results.
I learned EFT by doing it with Donna in her group, and by studying Gary Craig’s manual from his website. Soon, I began receiving newsletters from Patricia Carrington and then Til Schilling’s Tappy Bear.com. At a time when I was at a crossroads in my hypnotherapy career, I received another invitation. This one was from my spiritual center, Common Ground, asking me to offer EFT for kids as part of their Children’s Enrichment program. Nest, I linked up with Judith Freyer to form our program called Conscious Kids. Together, Judith and I took Tappy Bear to Common Ground and introduced the children and their parents to tapping with pleasantly surprising results. Here’s what one parent has to say about it:
“We have used the tapping technique on our three young kids (9,7 and 5) when they are upset, angry, crying, or sad and it works like a miracle. Immediately they calm down and start enjoying the tapping with a relaxed smile on their face. It’s like pressing some magic reset button. Thank you so much for teaching parents this powerful technique. It is a powerful and easy way to instantaneously relax and regain our composure. It helps prevent parents from fighting emotion with emotion, and removes the complexity from the charged event.”
EFT stands for emotional freedom techniques, which is a powerful and fun way to release negative energy and replace it with more peaceful responses to the stresses of daily living. EFT is based on a theory by Dr. Roger Callahan, which states that the cause of all negative emotion is a disruption in the body’s energy system. Also called Meridian Tapping, it works to relieve both physical and emotional pain. It’s a modified version of acupuncture without needles. Instead, you stimulate energy points, or the endpoints to some of the meridians, by gently tapping on them with your fingertips. It’s easy to learn and only takes minutes to feel positive results. I have found that one-to-one tapping with clients for specific issues prior to hypnotherapy greatly enhances the total effect of the session. Moreover, tapping in a group setting as in Donna’s Friday EFT group has been extremely beneficial to me personally, not only as a learning tool but as a way to release emotional blocks to my own success and prosperity. The effects of EFT seem subtle, but they are amazing nonetheless. I suggest giving it a try. “Try it on everything,” says Gary Craig. Indeed, there is a DVD by that name which I use as a teaching tool with my own Meridian Tapping (EFT) group meetings at Common Ground Spiritual Center in Tustin, CA the first Friday night of each month.
In my work with children, I utilize Tappy Bear, a stuffed toy with the tapping points sewn into him for an easy way to teach children the benefits of tapping. They tap on Tappy first, and then on themselves.
You can download Gary Craig’s EFT manual for free at www.emofree.com. Learn to use it for yourself, and then, start tapping with the entire family. Kids respond to it very well when they see it modeled and used effectively by their parents and other family members.
Happy Tapping!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
And what about Play?
One thing we know about children, they play. If you are like me, your favorite childhood memories are of play, favorite toys, and playmates. I find it easy and pleasurable to remember the play time with my brother. It was an imaginative, sensuous world wherein we lost track of time, emerged in the world we created. We were superheroes with towels on our backs; we became loving parents to our baby dolls; we created mud pies and plowed tollways in the dirt for our cars. Yes, children and play go together!
Piaget in his book, Play, Dreams and Imitations of Childhood ( 1969), believed play to be essential for the child’s emotional stability and adjustment to life. In play the child acts out conflicts and shapes reality to meet his needs. He saw play as the ground work for later life. It was said by transpersonal psychiatrist, Carl Jung, that play is serious business, not a matter of wanting to play but a compulsion to play.
* Play is the “work” of children
* Play is how children learn; develop physically, mentally and emotionally
* Play is children's means for self expression
And what is therapeutic play?
Research on intellectual development concluded that children do not think as adults, but think nonverbally. Margaret Lowenfeld, a pioneer in exploring children’s thinking and feeling, noticed that children have a special way of playing. Play needs to be appreciated. A wise parent and therapist will realize this need to express and connect within. Play, imagination, creativity and symbolism are nonverbal accesses to the unconscious that are respected and utilized by the play therapist.
* Playing (a form of nonverbal thinking) discharges energy allowing children to work toward understanding their experience, sort out conceptions, misconceptions and cope with life
* Play strengthens ego as children experience a new level of mastery, making up for failures and limitations of childhood, especially resulting from limited use of language
*Through play the child can express intense emotion that arises out of the inner and outer world
* Play, rather than talking, allows the child to express thoughts and feelings
Therapeutic Relationship
My mentor, Carolyn Abel, an analytically-oriented therapist, recalled an incident in which a client’s mother was amazed at her child’s progress, exclaiming, “ You mean, because you sit and watch his play, he’s feeling better!”
* Play is witnessed and mirrored by a therapist (Children are depressed by not being mirrored.)
* Complete attention is given to the child which requires alertness, sensitivity and appreciation for the child’s expression
Therapeutic Environment
The setting for the child in therapy should be a free and sheltered “space” where the child feels safe and protected. The playroom becomes a sacred and private place formed by the alliance with the therapist, the material and the space provided.
(Axline, 1969, Moustakas 1959, Ginott, 1961)
I know the sacredness of play, not only from my own childhood but from the years of being in the honored position of offering play therapy to children. I have witnessed children experiencing the confusion of divorce, gain strength and courage; children suffering from the loss of a parent, find a way to express grief and hospitalized children cope with pain and invasive medical procedures. I believe play (and especially play that is witnessed) to be crucial to the well being of every child. If I were president of the world, every child in every school would have at least 1/2 hour a week of play therapy !
I hope this overview of play and therapeutic play is helpful. I will write more on different modalities used in play therapy such as sand tray and art therapy, and use of metaphor and story telling. Watch, too, for some of my thoughts on parenting.
One thing we know about children, they play. If you are like me, your favorite childhood memories are of play, favorite toys, and playmates. I find it easy and pleasurable to remember the play time with my brother. It was an imaginative, sensuous world wherein we lost track of time, emerged in the world we created. We were superheroes with towels on our backs; we became loving parents to our baby dolls; we created mud pies and plowed tollways in the dirt for our cars. Yes, children and play go together!
Piaget in his book, Play, Dreams and Imitations of Childhood ( 1969), believed play to be essential for the child’s emotional stability and adjustment to life. In play the child acts out conflicts and shapes reality to meet his needs. He saw play as the ground work for later life. It was said by transpersonal psychiatrist, Carl Jung, that play is serious business, not a matter of wanting to play but a compulsion to play.
* Play is the “work” of children
* Play is how children learn; develop physically, mentally and emotionally
* Play is children's means for self expression
And what is therapeutic play?
Research on intellectual development concluded that children do not think as adults, but think nonverbally. Margaret Lowenfeld, a pioneer in exploring children’s thinking and feeling, noticed that children have a special way of playing. Play needs to be appreciated. A wise parent and therapist will realize this need to express and connect within. Play, imagination, creativity and symbolism are nonverbal accesses to the unconscious that are respected and utilized by the play therapist.
* Playing (a form of nonverbal thinking) discharges energy allowing children to work toward understanding their experience, sort out conceptions, misconceptions and cope with life
* Play strengthens ego as children experience a new level of mastery, making up for failures and limitations of childhood, especially resulting from limited use of language
*Through play the child can express intense emotion that arises out of the inner and outer world
* Play, rather than talking, allows the child to express thoughts and feelings
Therapeutic Relationship
My mentor, Carolyn Abel, an analytically-oriented therapist, recalled an incident in which a client’s mother was amazed at her child’s progress, exclaiming, “ You mean, because you sit and watch his play, he’s feeling better!”
* Play is witnessed and mirrored by a therapist (Children are depressed by not being mirrored.)
* Complete attention is given to the child which requires alertness, sensitivity and appreciation for the child’s expression
Therapeutic Environment
The setting for the child in therapy should be a free and sheltered “space” where the child feels safe and protected. The playroom becomes a sacred and private place formed by the alliance with the therapist, the material and the space provided.
(Axline, 1969, Moustakas 1959, Ginott, 1961)
I know the sacredness of play, not only from my own childhood but from the years of being in the honored position of offering play therapy to children. I have witnessed children experiencing the confusion of divorce, gain strength and courage; children suffering from the loss of a parent, find a way to express grief and hospitalized children cope with pain and invasive medical procedures. I believe play (and especially play that is witnessed) to be crucial to the well being of every child. If I were president of the world, every child in every school would have at least 1/2 hour a week of play therapy !
I hope this overview of play and therapeutic play is helpful. I will write more on different modalities used in play therapy such as sand tray and art therapy, and use of metaphor and story telling. Watch, too, for some of my thoughts on parenting.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
A little bit about Judith and Lillian
Lillian Nader holds a Masters Degree in Education, is a Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and a published author of educational workbooks for children. Lillian has 20 years experience working with at risk students in a variety of settings, including juvenile court schools, an adolescent treatment program and special education classrooms.
Currently, Lillian offers workshops and individual enrichment in guided imagery, Meridian Tapping, weight management, study skills and test taking strategies.
Lillian's vision and background will bring to the Kids' Enrichment Program at Common Ground a positive, safe and nurturing environment.
Memberships:
American Board of Hypnotherapy (www.abh-abnlp.com/)
International Hypnosis Federation (www.hynponisfederation.com)
International Association of Clinical Hypnotherapy. (www.hypnosis4u.org)
Common Ground Interfaith Spiritual Center (embracehumanity.com)
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